|I'm Still Angry
||[Sep. 28th, 2005|05:28 pm]
Honorary Gay Man
|||||Tracy Chapman--Cold Feet||]|
Ron wants us to go visit my mom on our way home from New Jersey...not that it's exactally on the way...but since neither of us have any commitments to anything else I don't really have an excuse not to go.
Except that I don't want to see her.
Is that wrong?
I'm still mad at the whole thing. The whole not telling me about who my dad really was and what really killed him. I'm still mad at the fact that she kicked him out of the house when she found out. I'm still mad that she *still* hasn't told my sisters.
I told all of this to Ron, and he thinks I need to talk to her. And while I'm there I can talk to my sisters and tell them too...wethor my mom wants me to or not. So, that's kinda getting me wanting to go. That last part, not the talking to my mom.
I mean, if she felt that way about Dad when she found out he was gay...what does that mean she thinks about me?? I mean, she seems okay with it...with Ron...and with my illness...but how can I be so sure when she fucking kicked my dad out of the house when he was dying?? How can I go and stay in her home and sleep in her guest room and eat in her kitchen when she could very well be looking at me and Ron in complet disgust? Maybe I'm over-reacting...but I honestly don't think I am.
But I guess I'll be going to see them. When we leave here...which will be in a few days still. Ron wants to stay until Jim's mother arrives at least. Then we'll probubly be on our way. And she's supposed to get here on Friday.