|To New Jersey!
||[Sep. 19th, 2005|02:52 pm]
Honorary Gay Man
|||||Ani Difranco--As Is||]|
I haven't talked to my mom since this whole thing about my father happened. I just don't know what to say to her. I'm angry that she kicked dad out of the house when she found out she was sick, and I'm even angrier that she kept me and my sisters away from him when he was dying. But at the same time I can't help but understand her reasoning behind her decisions.
On another note, I've been spending a lot of time with Jack...maybe a little too much...I think Ron's getting jelouse! It's funny to me really. Jack's like the father I never had...and well, maybe Ron thought he was. But I've never looked at Ron as a father figure...only as a lover and companion and friend. Just because he's older doens't mean he's a father figure. And besides, I think it would be strange to look at him that way considering what our relationship actually is.
But in a few days Ron and I are heading to New Jersey to visit a friend of his who's really sick. He's got cancer (I don't remember what kind though) and they're not sure he's going to last much longer. So Ron and are going up there to see him. I've never met him before. He's an old friend of Ron and Tony's back in the days before I was born...I'm a little nervious about going, I'm afraid I'll feel like an outsider, not knowing anyone and Ron seeing all his old friends. A bunch of them are going up there this week for the same reason. The guy who's sick, (Jim) is real optimisic about all of this, and he was the one who wanted everyone to come up. He knows he's dying and he's calling it his "last ha-rah" I do admire him for that. I don't think I could ever look death so squarly in the eye.
So, yeah, that's what's going on.