|How We Met
||[Sep. 3rd, 2005|11:23 pm]
Honorary Gay Man
|||||Three Dog Night--Black and White||]|
The past few days have been very odd indeed. For one, Ty and I just found out that his father was gay and was having an affiar with a man while with his mother. Huh? Yeah. Then we find out that his dad (his name's Peter btw) didn't die of cancer like his mom told him and his sisters...but he had AIDS. Goodness.
It's all a bit messed up right now at the Cambell house. Ty's been walking around in a fog and I'm just not sure what to say to him.
Today was a bit different though. Ty, Ka and myself drove over to Salem (where Jack lives--Jack = Peter's lover) and met up with Jack and went antiqueing. It was a lot of fun actually. Ty and Ka had a chance to hang out while Jack and I had a chance to talk one on one.
It's funny...I've never noticed what I miss by not talking to people my own age. Then I meet Jack and it's like a whole new way of talking opened up. He could relate to things that no one else I talk to (lately anyway--I do have friends my own age in my hometown...) seems to be able to do.
We talked a lot today over lunch about the AIDS crises back in the '80s. We both lived through it and managed to survive. But we each lost someone very important to us in it. I lost many people, actually. Too many to think about really. Jack really only lost Peter. But that's enough. As much as Ka and Daniel at the time went through what I was going through when I lost Tony, they didn't know really how I felt. Jack does 'cause he lost Peter the same way. And then Ty tries to understand, but he never lost anyone to AIDS (well, his father...but we just found that out...). It's a bit complicated.
Jack and I also talked about what it's like for me to be with someone so much younger than myself. He was so interested in it. So I told him the whole story of how we met. Have I told that story on here? Well, I will now:
I was working at Tony's (that's the resturant Tony and I opened a long time ago now) and I was being real "hands on" with everything 'cause I was still getting over losing Tony. I became a workaholic 'cause when I stoped working I was just completly devistated.
Well, one day this kid comes in. He was only 20 at the time (God! So young!) and I had to check his ID, which of course said he was under 21, so I couldn't serve him at the bar...and we talked a little. And I thought nothing of it. That is until he came in again, and again. And he kept sitting in my section which was near the bar. I thought it was kind of odd.
Then one night we were closing and this kid was still sitting there. He was all alone, it was a Saturday night, I thought it was strange. So I sat down across from him and said, "Shouldn't you be out partying?"
And he said, "I hate partying." I don't really remember the rest of the conversation...but something just struck a cord with me. I couldn't put my finger on it at the time. Probably 'cause I didn't want to. He had opened me up. Not in what I was telling him, but in how I was feeling. I hadn't met anyone new lately at that point. And I hadn't really talked to anyone that I did know. I was really shut off, but when I met Ty I was instantly able to talk to him.
He continued comeing by and we continued to talk. Then one night he asked if I wanted to go out somewhere, grab some coffee. I actually turned him down. It just didn't seem right to me for a 45 year old man to go out with a 20 year old boy. But he was so damn persistant! So, I caved in and we had coffee like three nights in a row.
And as they say the rest is history! I could go on forever about Ty and our first few weeks together. They were so scary and so...what's the word...careful. I didn't want to do anything 'cause I was afraid I would be robbing the craddle. And on top of that I felt that I was being disloyal to Tony (even though he'd been gone nearly 2 1/2 years by then). But Ty was so pationt with me. So...sweet. He brought me out of my shell. He was (and is) so much older than he seems...in a good way of course.
He's the love of my life. He saved me from a time when I was emotionaly dead. I couldn't have pulled through that time without him. I mean, before we got romanticly involved we were friends for a while. And he pulled me out of my shell, like I said. I was able to open up to him about my feelings about Tony and how I felt dead inside. I couldn't do that with Ka or Daniel 'cause they knew him too, and they lived (at the time) so far away.
Okay...I've gone on enough. I'm tired, and my sweetness is waiting for me in the bedroom....